Second sculpture find in German cave reveals „penises probably overrated“.

The "Schelklingen John Doe"

The "Schelklingen Venus"

BERLIN – After the presentation of a 35,000-year-old ivory carving of a busty woman found in a German cave yesterday, archaeologists unveiled a second spectacular find this morning. The „new“ carving found in Germany's Hohle Fels cave depicts a completely ordinary man with a beer belly, flabby arms and a tiny penis.

The Hohle Fels cave discovery suggests the humans, who are believed to have come to Europe around 40,000 years ago, had the intelligence to create symbols and think abstractly in a way that matches the modern human. „Carbon dating reveals both sculpture were done by a woman artist,“ said archeologist Lisa Özdemir. „While the female carving expresses a vibrant sexuality, the male figurine’s physique is rather boring. This leads us to the assumption that the importance of the penis is probably overrated.“ Scientists from renowned international universities agreed that after the discovery of the "Schelkingen John Doe" penile history has to be rewritten.